3am Thoughts
Annique Tate
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About This Podcast
From Toilet Panic to 3AM Peace: One Woman's Journey Through IBD, Fertility, and Finding Hope in the Dark
Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down... but it's not the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
It's the raw, unfiltered truth about trying to become a mother at 40+ while battling IBD, premature ovarian failure, and a medical system that wasn't designed for women like me.
This is where I share what really happens when your bowels, your fertility, and your dreams collide.
From panic attacks in public toilets to navigating donor eggs, from being dismissed as "too old" to holding my miracle baby at 3am - this is my story, filter-free.
What you'll hear:
- Honest conversations about IBD and fertility (including the farting - because fart loud, fart proud!)
- What fertility clinics don't tell you about reproductive health
- The emotional reality of premature ovarian failure and donor eggs
- Medical advocacy and learning to trust yourself over "experts"
- Hope, tears, and finding peace when everything feels hopeless
- Guest stories from others on similar journeys
This podcast is for:
- Women struggling with fertility who feel alone despite being surrounded by support.
- Anyone navigating chronic illness while trying to conceive.
- People facing age-related prejudice in their fertility journey.
- Anyone who needs permission to be messy, angry, hopeful, and real about becoming a parent.
What makes this different:
No filters. No polish. No Instagram-perfect motherhood. Just real stories from the messy middle, the parts nobody talks about but everyone experiences.
This isn't medical advice. I'm not a doctor. I'm just someone who's been through it and wants you to know you're not alone in the dark.
New episodes: Weekly
Your voice deserves to be heard. Always.
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Recent Episodes
Let's unpack the question: What about donor eggs?
Pausing the story to have the conversation that doesn't happen enough.Will I bond with the baby? Will they bond with me? Would it be as it would've been with my own egg? What if I don't bond and…
Chapter Eleven - Donor Eggs
The Questions, The Mistake, and Finding Our MatchAugust 2021. POF diagnosis. Time to move forward with donor eggs. But first, I had to face the questions that haunt every woman making this…
Chapter Ten: Mushrooms, Mindset and POF
The Final Push Before the DiagnosisI'd finally found a doctor who looked at me as a whole and listened. My oestrogen was too high for me to be in menopause, he told me, and I was buzzing.Then came…
Chapter Nine - The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back
When Hope Becomes ExhaustingJuly 2020. We booked a UK fertility clinic. I had my first scan. The doctor told me I had a "beautifully healthy reproductive system." I nearly skipped out of the…
Chapter Eight - The Question that Breaks You
March 2020. The fertility consultant said "menopause" and refused treatment. COVID locked us down in Italy. I was dismissed everywhere I turned because I was over 40. And then I had to face the…
Chapter Seven - The Long Road Down
When Vindication Met DevastationDecember 2019. I'm planning our move to Sicily with military precision, Trello boards, spreadsheets, endless coordination. My hair's growing back, my business is…
Acupuncture for Fertility in Your 40s: Real Talk with Houri Alavi
Can acupuncture really support fertility after 40? I sat down with Houvi Alavi, my acupuncturist, to get honest answers about how this ancient therapy actually works for modern fertility…
Chapter Six - Summer in Sicily
Vindication, Eggs, and What My Missing Period Really MeantAfter three months of religiously following the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, the moment finally arrived.My consultant ran the tests.…
Chapter Five - What Do You Want Us to Do, Miss Tate?
Chapter 5: When I Was Right All AlongSunday, 16 June, 2019. I'm in A&E. My iron is 81. My inflammation is 97. My body is eating itself.The doctor asks, "What do you want us to do, Miss Tate?"All…
Chapter Four - USA, Menopause and Fight or Flight
When Being Over 40 Was "Diagnosis" EnoughApril 2019. I felt good travelling through the US - until I returned home and my period vanished. When I went to my doctor, his diagnosis was immediate:…
Chapter Three - In Case of Emergency, the Toilets Are Here, Here and Here
When Everything Started to UnravelOctober 2018. I was fighting fit, buzzing with health, and ready to start trying for a baby. I'd optimised everything: fertility supplements, acupuncture, organic…
Chapter Two - Big Fun, Decisions and a Slap from Reality
2017 was supposed to be the fun year. Marco and I were in full honeymoon mode - long weekends away, gigs, restaurants, living it up. My "mild" proctitis diagnosis was firmly in the rearview…
Chapter One - Panic in the Toilet
Panic in the Toilet | Chapter 1: How It All StartedJanuary 2017. I was living my best life - fresh out of a marriage, doing a Master's degree, producing theatre shows, and getting my first tattoo…
Introduction
Welcome to My Story: From Toilet Panic to 3AM PeaceThis is the raw, unfiltered truth about my journey to motherhood at 40+ with IBD, fertility struggles, premature ovarian failure, and ultimately,…
Frequently Asked Questions
3am Thoughts has published 14 episodes since October 2025, covering topics in Documentary, Personal Journals.
3am Thoughts is currently declining with new episodes every 2 weeks. Average episode length is 13m.
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