Absolutely Not, Darling
Sebastian Sterling
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#16 He Proposed in His Sleep with a Haribo Ring
A listener is 'engaged' to her sleep-talking boyfriend via a Haribo ring. Sebastian advises on the morning-after panic and how to broach this sticky subject. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit…
#15 Paralysed by the Pressure of a 'Perfect' Sunday?
Feeling more panic than peace from the 'Sunday Reset' trend? Sebastian helps a listener break free from the tyranny of the to-do list and find a kinder way to recharge. This podcast is a work of…
#14 Failing the Gender Test You Didn't Know You Were Taking?
What if you don't feel 'non-binary enough'? Sebastian tackles imposter syndrome and the myth that there's a correct way to express your gender. Spoiler: there isn't one. This podcast is a work of…
#13 When Your Wardrobe is a Shrine to Your Failures
Feeling suffocated by a wardrobe full of un-lived lives? Sebastian helps a listener ditch the ghosts of who she thought she should be, and embrace the woman she is—even if she only wears three black…
#12 When Self-Improvement Turns You Into a Sociopath
Your quest for self-improvement has turned you into a joyless robot who terrifies themself in the mirror. Sebastian helps a listener who has optimised their life into misery learn how to ditch the…
#11 My Uncle Claims My Cat Lacks Mental Capacity
A listener is the executor for a cat's £250k fortune, and the family is furious. How do you fend off lawsuits and loan requests aimed at a Persian cat? Sebastian offers advice on setting firm…
#10 My Promotion Is a High-Paying, Soul-Crushing Lie
A listener's promotion has a bigger paycheque but no job. Sebastian helps figure out if this corporate nonsense is a gift or a trap. This podcast is a work of fiction. Submit questions at…
#9 He's Practising His Breakup Lines... On a Fictional Character
A listener finds her boyfriend's dramatic breakup notes, but they're for a character in his favourite video game. Is he a harmless nerd or is this a major red flag? Sebastian helps figure out if it's…
#8 Resigning as the Unqualified Office Therapist
Eleanor's desk has become a therapy couch for her colleagues, and she's ready to resign. Sebastian offers a masterclass in setting firm but kind boundaries to reclaim your time and sanity. Time to…
#7 I'm Your Mate, Not Your Personal Gay Cliché
When well-meaning support turns you into a walking cliché. After coming out, Luke's mates treat him as their personal queer consultant. Sebastian advises on how to gently remind them you're still a…
#6 Mourning a Life That's Taking Up All Your Wardrobe Space
Isla's walk-in wardrobe is a shrine to a woman who doesn't exist: a high-flying CEO. Sebastian helps her exorcise this power-dressing ghost and find peace with the life (and jumpers) she actually…
#5 My Manifesting Mantras Have Become Unhinged
A listener's quest to manifest a design career has gone awry, with his affirmations turning into unhinged threats. Sebastian unpacks the tyranny of toxic positivity and offers a gentler path to…
#4 When You're Asked to Fund Your Brother's 'Dreams'
Your brother is 'finding himself' in Asia on the Bank of Mum and Dad, while you save for a house. Now they want you to fund his new camera? Absolutely not, darling. Sebastian advises on how to say no…
#3 Out of Sight, Out of Mind, and Out of a Promotion?
You're working from home, but it feels more like you've been forgotten. Sebastian helps a listener who's losing out to her hybrid colleagues. It's time to reclaim your career, darling, without…
#2 'Too Dramatic' or Is Her Fiancé Just Biphobic?
This week, a listener is left out of her sister's wedding, blamed for being 'too dramatic'. Sebastian suspects something more unsavoury is afoot – namely, a biphobic fiancé. Time to pop the champagne…
#1 Your Friend Got a Mortgage and You Got... Existential Dread?
Feeling left behind after another Sunday scroll-a-thon? Leo from Manchester is watching friends buy houses while he feels stagnant. Sebastian pours the tea on the perils of comparison and why your…
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Absolutely Not, Darling has published 16 episodes since June 2025, covering topics in Comedy, Comedy Interviews.
Absolutely Not, Darling is currently dormant with new episodes daily. Average episode length is 8m.
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