Football Ranter
Football Ranter
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Recent Episodes
S3E6 Season 3 Episode 6 — “Only Rants in Pants: Football Twitter For Sale”
⚠️ Warning:This episode is a football rant at maximum volume.It contains impatience, contempt for grifters, timeline merchants, and lads baiting OnlyFans models for engagement like it’s a career…
Season 3 Episode 6 — “RANTUMUS: The Internet, a Ginger NUT SACK Called Jonathan, and Zero Self-Awareness”
⚠️ Warning:This episode contains industrial-grade ranting, weaponised opinions, and a Jonathan-Morley-shaped, ginger-nut-sack energy individual who treats the internet like a public inquiry into his…
Season 3 Episode 5 — Fog, Fraud, Diminutive Florian Wirtz, and a Panda
⚠️ Warning: A boiler, a vape, and a Bundesliga highlight reel walk into a pub and somehow Arsenal still bottle it. Between VAR smoke, Klopp worship, and a tiny German midfielder giving everyone an…
S3E4 Season 3 Episode 4 — The Buttock Derby
⚠️ Warning: The Buttock Derby delivered everything the FA handbook explicitly forbids fake kits, flying handbags, and a referee who pulled his hamstring halfway through booking a man with extra…
S3E3 Season 3, Episode 3 — “The Stick of Justice Returns: Paris Pints, Biscuit Knees & Why Jesus Would Get Hooked at Half-Time in Sunday League.”
⚠️ Warning: Chapo’s back from COVID, Bomb’s been on the Staropramen, and somehow Paris, beer maths, and Jesus’ biscuit knees all make sense after ten minutes. Expect lager-fuelled logic, Essex League…
S3E2 Kick-Off Chaos: Banned Chapo, Drunk Bomb, and a Vicar on the Wing
⚠️ Warning: Bomb still thinks bar staff are brain-dead chimps, Chapo’s been banned again, and somehow we’ve acquired both a DJ and a bloody vicar. There’s also a stag do, bad football takes, and…
S3E1 Man United in Pieces, Chapo Walks Out, and Sheffield Takes More Heat
⚠️ Warning: Bomb loses his rag with Chapo (again), we rinse Man U, Lee Gunner’s still Lee Gunner, and the mighty Grimsby get their due.In this week’s carnage:🍷 Bomb’s patience snaps during Chapo’s…
S2E18 Ain’t No Party Like a Lee Diddy Party Plus Who’s Gonna Tear the League a New One?
⚠️ Warning: Today’s sound quality is ropey. Not our fault, not our problem. We’ll fix it next time but let’s be real, you lot aren’t paying a penny for this anyway.In today’s episode:🍷 Bomb Taunts…
S2E17 Scottish Spurs Fans,Broken Noses,Terrible Ale & Premier League Transfer Market Madness its that time agian
In today’s episode:🍷 Bomb develops a taste for bargain-bin Co-op wine🛵 Chapo’s mouth could power a swear jar economy📅 Social media you lot are officially a bunch of scammers🤣 Sheffield Scots and…
S2E16 Where the hell have you been, and is it worth fighting the landlord over a vest top?
In today’s episode: 🍺 Bomb necks cider like it's a sport 🏍️ We argue (loudly) about whether riding or driving a Harley is correct 🎉 We throw down the gauntlet to social media "you lot are planning…
S2E15 The Boys Are Back ... late, as tradition demands with Eggsistential Football Chat
A-Bomb laments his limp tifo experience and longs for the return of Graham Souness armed with a shotgun. Meanwhile, Chappo discovers that Patricia is actually Karen, and learns that to truly…
S2E14 The Germans Bombed Our Chip Shop and Elon Hired My Nan
In today’s episode: A-Bomb comes clean about sneaking two young lads into the pub (allegedly for educational purposes). Chapo wrestles with his inner demons and admits—brace yourself—he kinda likes…
S2 Ya Greedy Bastard
Just a quick update on the greedy Glazers and Ratcliffe, that scruffy bastard. Honestly, it’s a mess. The Glazers are still lining their pockets at the expense of the club, while Ratcliffe is playing…
S2E9 ManU's Financials the full show
In today's show, we take a grown-up look at the state of Manchester United's finances—diving beyond the headlines to unpack the numbers, the challenges, and what it all means for the club's future.…
S2 ManU's Financials: A Proper Car Crash – More Bent Than a Reliant Robin on a Bad Day!
Today's show kicks off with a brief introduction to Manchester United's financial announcement—while A-Bomb is busy sunning his arse in the Mediterranean, and once again, Chapo is dishing out his…
S2E8 Would You Kick a Wombat? Do Erling Haaland and His Glory-Hunting Father Have Eyebrows? And Should Kids Be Served Espresso at Parties?
In today's show, The team dove into the ultimate debate: which Australian native animal would we take on in a brawl? A-Bomb was all in, insisting he'd swing a hammer at a funnel-web spider without…
S2E7 Linesmen with Guns, Kinky Keepers, Football Madness
On today's show, we dive into some truly thought-provoking (and slightly absurd) topics: the pros and cons of linesmen carrying guns—because why not spice up those offside debates? We ask the…
S2E6 Happy New Year To The RANT ARMY
In today’s episode, we say a heartfelt thank you, champion women’s rights and equality, and dive into the pressing issue of the nation’s staggering scone consumption. We also dish out nominations for…
S2E5 Is this a Sheffield United podcast? I think not!
In today’s show, we’re discussing a topic very close to our hearts: Men’s Mental Health Week. If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are always there—call them in the UK at 116 123 or visit…
S2E5 Are Mancunians Secretly German? And Do They Suffer from Coprophobia?
In today’s episode, we dive into why Mancunians are suddenly considered Germans instead of their usual "bin dipper" label. Meanwhile, Chapo manages to get himself arrested (again), and Bomb discovers…
Frequently Asked Questions
Football Ranter has published 47 episodes since August 2023, covering topics in Comedy, News.
Football Ranter is currently moderate with new episodes every 2 weeks. Average episode length is 1h 10m.
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