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About the Show
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Regularly hosts outside guests
34 episodes — long track record
Production & Distribution
Recent Episodes
Episode 33 - Chapter 27: It's always darkest before the dawn
Final chapter. After staring some of her greatest fears in the face and surviving, Kirsty realises she is stronger than she ever imagined. If that can be true for her, the girl who was born…
Episode 32 - Chapter 26: I must go on standing
Kirsty ventures to Italy to work as an au pair for a 10 year-old girl but her declining health takes a toll. In spring she heads to the Greater London countryside, where she is surrounded by fragile…
Episode 31 - Chapter 25: Some things only God can forgive
Kirsty realises she had been going through life as a wounded child, but when forced to defend herself in a life or death situation, she reunites with her true self. The grown woman who had been…
Episode 30 - Chapter 24: I haven't seen Barbados, so I must get out of this
When a first date turns ugly Kirsty's new found sobriety is challenged. She finally understands that no-one is coming to save her, and claiming her life back is up to her, and only her. Soundtrack:…
Episode 29 - Chapter 23: I'm ready to release
Kirsty finds comfort in the women she meets at the SLAA and CODA meetings she attends. Women who have been beaten down, largely by men, work together to build each back up. Kirsty is able to see that…
Episode 28 - Chapter 22: I gave you all my money
Kirsty attends her first 12-step meeting and notices the parallels of her addiction with the stories of those around her. A new Doctor makes her a tempting offer to get back on opiates, which ends up…
Episode 27 - Chapter 21: I wanted them all
Rather than being a seedy, intimidating place, Kirsty discovers that rehab is filled with sad, sensitive people, just like her. Soundtrack: 'Incomplete' by Kirsten…
Episode 26 - Chapter 20: I don't ever want to drink again, I just need a friend
On Boxing Day 2017, Kirsty is whisked away to a drug and alcohol rehab facility, where her issues with codependency and love addiction are also revealed. Soundtrack: 'Rehab' by Amy…
Episode 25 - Chapter 19: Help I have done it again
Withdrawing from painkillers and love, Kirsty endures Christmas at a rowdy German bierhaus with extended family, excitedly asking about her 'romantic' holiday. Soundtrack: 'Breathe Me' by…
Episode 24 - Chapter 18: High all the time
Having chewed her way through a months worth of painkillers in less than ten days, Kirsty and her new boyfriend were on the road to find someone who would prescribe opioids to a young Australian girl…
Episode 23 - Chapter 17: My drug dealer was a doctor
Kirsty decided that running away to Italy with an older man, for their very first date, seemed like the most sensible solution to coping with the internal agony of losing her best friend, father and…
Episode 22 - Chapter 16: He swims in my eyes by the bed
Kirsty enters her final semester of uni during the worst time of her life. She survives with the help of her classmate Ally, while nostalgic dreams challenge her nightly. Soundtrack: ‘Wake Up Alone'…
Episode 21 - Chapter 15: You shoulda seen the other guy
Heartbroken, alone and now strongly addicted to opioids, this chapter confronts my newfound disenchantment and fury with all men and the destructive ways in which I try to cope. Soundtrack: ‘Dark…
Episode 20 - Chapter 14: There's a starman waiting in the sky
Once home from the psychiatric facility, Kirsty becomes increasingly concerned for her father's wellbeing, having not heard from him in several weeks. Soundtrack: 'Starman' by David…
Episode 19 - Chapter 13: A fucked up holiday
Kirsty enters a psychiatric hospital where she meets some strange characters, just like her. Soundtrack: 'Gods & Monsters' by Lana Del Rey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIVkYAiAVAI Shop the…
Episode 18 - Interview with Josh Cary of The Hidden Entrepreneur
Kirsten is interviewed by Josh Cary about her struggle with addiction and the life that ultimately became ‘Gutter Glitter’. Soundtrack: 'Candy' by Kirsten…
Episode 17 - Chapter 12: I’ll Kill Her
Unable to witness my grief and sit with his own, Simon leaves me for another woman. This chapter speaks to my blind rage at being abandoned and replaced. Soundtrack: 'I'll Kill Her' by…
Episode 16 - Chapter 11: Girl, where do you think you’re goin’?
Sam continues to deteriorate, until she is a shadow of her former self. Ultimately, I must say goodbye to my only friend and beacon of joy. Soundtrack: 'Joanne' by Lady…
Episode 15 - Chapter 10: Bring me a higher love
As Simon pulls away, Kirsty’s codependency reaches new heights, and she seeks refuge in the kindness of her bandmate. Kirsty watches on hopelessly as her best friend becomes increasingly ill.…
Episode 14 - Chapter 9: I can't fit the feelings in
With her mobility restored, Kirsty rushed head-first into life - overdoing it while trying to make up for lost time. She describes the emotional highs of mania followed by the crushing lows of…
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