I Woke Up This Gay

I WOKE UP THIS GAY

-A podcast by Stuart Merrill, LGBTQ+ rights activist, lobbyist and public speaker on diversity.

The miracle of diversity we devoted our lives to create is under threat.

In "I WOKE UP THIS GAY" I recall our LGBTQ+ history and my 50+ years of experiences as an out gay man, activist, advocate and lobbyist. During that time I worked for various U.S. intelligence agencies, various news organizations and eventually as a professional LGBTQ+ rights lobbyist.  

I need help raising money to purchase a badly needed computer to continue my podcast and my vital work promoting love, diversity and inclusion. Please go to my GoFundMe page to help out:

https://gofund.me/2cc2aa948

I've lived and worked as an openly gay man in 6 countries including the USA, the Soviet Union, Germany and South Africa. I have also traveled and worked in 50+ countries. 

Born into a prominent Mormon family in 1960, my gay journey began at the age of 12 when our Mormon Bishop commanded the men in my life, including my older brother and Scout Master, to beat the queer out of me. The violence continued for the rest of my childhood. (Episodes 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 14, 15 & 19)

Primarily raised by my Russian mother speaking Russian, German & English. (See episodes 2, 3, 4 & 10), I was recruited out of high school to work for United States intelligence agencies and became the first American allowed to keep my top secret security clearance after coming out as a gay man. (Episode 3).

I came of age during the LGBTQ+ rights movement and the AIDS epidemic in North America, Eastern and Western Europe. (Episodes 2, 5, 7, 14 & 15).

I returned to Utah as an adult and founded an LGBTQ+ rights advocacy organization. We successfully lobbied to increase state and federal funding for HIV medication, hate crimes legislation and LGBTQ+ rights bills. (Episodes 21, 22, 23, 24 & 25).

While living in Moscow my boyfriend became the hero of the 1991 revolution that ended Communism in Russia. Two days later he was arrested, tortured and murdered by the KGB for being a prominent gay activist (Episode 1). 

I watched a man beaten to death by gay bashers in New York City while the armed policeman standing right next to me refused to stop it, or even take my witness statement (Episode 8).

By the age of 30 most of my friends were dead, or dying from AIDS. When my best friend Stevie was dying of pneumonia his nurses were not allowed to give him oxygen because he had AIDS. That's when I vowed to become an activist. (Episode 5).

The best way to fight the recent upsurge in anti LGBTQ+ legislation, rhetoric and violence is to tell our stories. We must remind people what it was like when we were the focus of America's hatred, discrimination and violence.  

My name is Stuart Merrill 

And

I Woke Up This Gay!