The Uffda Times-Picayune
Noah
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uffdatimespicayune.substack.com
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Recent Episodes
Please Don't Add My Mom Back on Facebook: An Oral History of A Social Network
The year is 2009. The first decade of the new millennium is coming to an end. The economy is in shambles. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is released to great acclaim. I am in 7th grade, and Facebook…
There Is No More Regularly Scheduled Programming
Alright. Alright, alright, alright. The b***h is back. Sound the trumpets. Lay down the red carpet. Bring out your offerings. UTP is back for 2026.Originally, I had written a whimsical intro about…
The Juice is Loose and Making Sound Investment Decisions
Hey this is Noah Hansen saying howdy to all the girls out there in Radioland. Or Newsletterland if you’re reading this instead. Hey listening audience, did you know this is also written down on…
Soundwaves: Alright, Let's Wrap It Up
Welcome back, friend, to the newsletter and podcast that puts the UTP in perfect utopia: The Uffda Times-Picayune.This one would be a good one to read and follow along with the voiceover, especially…
Please, God, Give Us the Donald Trump Face Turn
Happy Black Friday UTP’ers. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving and made a point to bring up controversial topics and plug my newsletter to your coolest family members. I really appreciate it. I also…
Oh Boy, Another Diatribe About Wrestling
Welcome back to another edition of the world’s most recommended newsletter/podcast to my friends’ coworkers.This week we’re back to normal after we wrapped up Putting the Moron in Moroni last week.…
S1E9 Joseph Smith's Timely Death, or The Last Mormon One
“When you go home today, especially you young kids, I want you to write in your journal one thing you felt while you were here.” - Senior sister missionary to us following our tour of Carthage…
S1E8 When Joseph Smith Ran For President—And How It Got Him Killed
When I was in high school, 10th grade was the year we took American History, and I opted to take the Advanced Placement version of the class, colloquially known as AP US History (APUSH). If you don’t…
S1E7 Mormonism on the Mississippi: Nauvoo, Illinois
Editor’s Note: You might have noticed I took September and almost all of October off. This was, in part, because Mormons have frequently been in the national news these past months, and almost…
S2E2 Dankrupt 'til Dynamite: A Screenplay Table Reading World Premiere
HEY YOU, YEAH YOU. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU LISTEN TO THE VOICEOVER COMPANION/PODCAST BY READING THIS IN THE SUBSTACK APP OR ON YOUR LAPTOP OR WHATEVER, JUST NOT IN AN EMAIL.I PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO…
S1E6 Crime and Punishment in Mormon Missouri
In many ways, Joseph Smith is the 1800’s proto-L. Ron Hubbard (founder of Scientology). The forerunner for b******t, batshit cults, if you will.Scientology and Mormonism have a lot of…
S1E5 Is This a Joke to Them?
“This earth was once a garden place, with all her glories common, and men did live a holy race, and worship Jesus face to face, in Adam-ondi-Ahman.”- Mormon hymn “Adam-ondi-Ahman”Listen: this…
S1E4 The Gift Shop at the Garden of Eden...Sorta
Listen: these are podcasts too, only on Substack.Catch up on the whole series starting with Part 1 here.Follow us on Instagram: @uffdatimesThe first article of this series was titled “The World’s…
S1E3 I Believe That The Garden of Eden Was In Jackson County, Missouri
“We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally…
S1E2 It's All Reformed Egyptian to Me
Listen: I’m recording podcast-style narrations for this series. You can listen on Substack and in the Substack app, catch Part 1 here.When Joseph Smith published the Pearl of Great Price in 1838, he…
S1E1 The World's Most American Religion
Listen: I’ve made a voiceover for this article and actually put some work into the production. I’d like to do podcast-y stuff and this is my first shot.Give it a listen in the Substack app or…
S2E1 Killdozer: In Gamblor's Claws
EPISODE 2 | JULY 4, 2025 | UTP SALUTES 2025 YEARS OF AMERICAN HEGEMONYWhen a reasonable newsletter author is driven to do unreasonable things, you might expect the worst.But when a “““reasonable”””"…
Frequently Asked Questions
The Uffda Times-Picayune has published 17 episodes since July 2025, covering topics in Comedy, Documentary.
The Uffda Times-Picayune is currently declining with new episodes every 2 weeks. Average episode length is 23m.
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