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Nobody Could Cross Him
The boys hit 210 and celebrate the only way they know how — by arguing about guns, addiction, traffic, housing, and whether the solar system might be conscious. Jesse’s got AI limit complaints, Ed’s…
Claude Does My Inventory
Jesse has officially outsourced his brain to an AI. This week he trained Claude to read his POS system’s creative spelling (“Crown Apple 750 w Flask” is apparently a different product than “Crown…
Claude Crashes the Bar
Jesse, Ed, and Mike are back after a two-week hiatus with a packed episode. Mike’s mystery respiratory situation, a free Morton’s steak dinner that turned into an annuities seminar, and an unexpected…
Psychedelics, Implants, and the Manchurian Candidate
The mics are hot and the takes are hotter. This week, the Dicks tackle Trump calling an Olympian a "loser," the ethics of $9,000 medical trials (Jesse volunteers his body for science… and cash), and…
AI John Candy & ICE Gulags
Grab a water (or something stronger) and pull up a stool. In this episode, the Dicks navigate a labyrinth of topics: Should John Candy be digitally resurrected for the Spaceballs sequel? How did two…
Begats, Beards, and Bad Covers
The podcast where the intro is an outtake and the plot is whatever sticks to the wall. This episode’s journey includes: getting stuck in a hypothetical time loop, skipping the "begat" chapters of the…
Hemorrhoids, Hoosiers, & G.I. Joes
The crew opens with the finer points of personal hygiene before Jesse recounts his freezing, high-as-a-kite trip to Georgia, complete with antique posters warning of "crime, suicide, and…
The 32-Year-Old Adolescent & The Secret Data Center
As Jesse preps for a freezing trip to Georgia (and a legendary D&D drink menu), the conversation spirals into the nature of reality itself. Is there a secret government data center under a…
Pittsburgh Cheesesteaks & Beard-Growing Wisdom
The gang tackles the first "Short Attention Span Theater" episode of 2026 by trying to understand Three Kings Day, defending disc golf as "real golf," and offering unsolicited advice on growing a…
A One-Way Ticket & The Ball Drop
As the clock ticks down on 2025, the conversation takes an unexpected turn when a guest reveals his estranged father—absent for over 30 years—has just shown up with a one-way ticket and no place to…
Stabby Stabby, Weed Shots, and Ghosting
What do a celebrity murder case, 100-day sobriety bets, ceramic car coatings, and the ethics of ghosting have in common? Absolutely nothing—and that’s exactly the point. Grab a seat (and maybe a weed…
Vibrators for Pussies: Two Dicks in a Bar
Our mission is simple: use ridiculous, NSFW charity events to raise money for cat rescues. Our podcast is everything else. Co-hosts and brewery reps Dan and Mike are the masterminds behind the…
Johnny Depp, Disc Golf, and Demonized Nipples
The conversation bounces like a pinball in a dive bar. One minute we're hearing a "totally true" story about partying with Johnny Depp until sunrise, the next we're analyzing the psychological…
Our Google-r Got Gaslit (A Thanksgiving Miracle)
Our fact-checker bailed, so we're just making things up now. We explore the real first Thanksgiving (it was Lincoln, dibs), why cake is a chemical lie and pie is a fruity fraud, and how to properly…
Putt League, Propaganda, and Moist Panties
Strap in for a wild ride as the conversation bounces from the competitive world of DIY disc golf putting to the dark corners of political hypocrisy. The crew dissects Charlie Kirk quotes, South…
The Nephew, The Nazi, and The Nicotine Pouches
The conversation is as all over the place as a drunkard's stroll. This week, the Dicks dive into a family controversy: was a nephew's school suspension for an edgy doodle justified or total bullshit?…
Let's Get High and Build a Robot Comedian
Our quest to outsource our personalities to machines continues. We unleash an AI-written stand-up routine so brilliant and stupid it might get us cancelled (or at least mildly frowned upon). Then, we…
Science vs. The Semen Demons
The dicks are back in your ears and they're tackling the hard-hitting science behind No Nut November. Is there any truth to the "superpowers" promised by online influencers, or is it all just a…
Six, Seven, Six, Seven
From the assault on democratic norms to the assault on your childhood, no topic is safe. This episode meanders from the future of self-driving cars and the ethics of AI to the vital, pressing issue…
38 More Months
Navigating life's uncomfortable truths with a sense of humor is their specialty. In this episode, the guys debate the "tragedy plus time" formula for comedy, grapple with personal health scares and…
Frequently Asked Questions
Two Dicks in a Bar has published 209 episodes since December 2019, covering topics in Comedy, Improv.
Two Dicks in a Bar is currently active with new episodes weekly. Average episode length is 1h 13m.
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