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Recent Episodes
S1E30 Middle Age Transitions: When the Peg Doesn't Fit In the Hole
Welcome to the season finale of "You Don't Have To" - a brutally honest 4-minute journey through the reality of content creation, middle age transitions, and the courage to be authentically…
S1E29 How Bruno Broke Up With His Punctuality Problem
For 25 years, Bruno had a toxic relationship with time. It started with his first job out of college, navigating DC traffic for a boss who believed the solution to being late was simply "leave an…
S1E28 Why I Can't Hate the Beach & Your Kids Eat Sand
Join us for a brutally honest and hilarious take on beach parenting from a dad who freely admits he can't swim. In this 4-minute comedic monologue, our host shares the reality of family beach trips:…
S1E27 Sirens, Jet Skis, and Te$ticle$: Episode 27
Bruno shares a nostalgic and hilarious story about childhood dreams of becoming a fireman and a recent encounter with a very modern fire department vehicle that left him confused and slightly…
S1E25 Screw You, Rubble: Bubblegum Ice Cream & The Last Golden Age
Ever argue lollipop flavors with an 8-year-old? Bruno did—and it spiraled into hot dogs in the cafeteria, bubblegum ice cream, and a war on blue cotton candy suckers. In under 4 minutes, he rants…
S1E24 Your Kid Doesn’t Need a Gift Bag
Feeling pressured to get married, buy a house, have kids, and post it all in matching outfits? You don’t have to.This podcast is for overthinkers, quietly panicking 40-somethings, and anyone…
S1E23 You Don’t Have To Listen Twice a Week
Big news, loyal listeners (and the three people who accidentally subscribed)! Bruno’s cutting back—but don’t worry, it’s not on carbs or caffeine. Starting now, we’re dropping just one glorious,…
Sex, socks, and substitute teachers.
In this brutally honest and darkly funny episode of Bruno’s You Don’t Have To, Bruno reflects on his hilariously awkward first sexual experience. From losing his virginity (and his sock) at 17, to…
S1E21 From Theme Parties to Nation of Islam Pies: An Awkward Journey
Bruno’s latest episode proves that three minutes can feel like a rollercoaster. He starts by warning you not to take him seriously, then dives into stories that reveal exactly why. Raised in a…
S1E20 Father Joe Sweats For Your Sins, and Jeremy Piven Doesn’t Tip
Are award shows just a bunch of buddies giving trophies to each other? Bruno thinks so, and he’s not afraid to say it. On the 20th episode, we’re tearing down the pretense of formal ceremonies and…
S1E19 How to Accidentally Hire 👨🦲ϟϟ as Security
Ever roomed with a punk, tattoo‑seekin’ straight‑edge kid and accidentally partied with some 👨🦲s? Same. In this episode Bruno recounts college chaos: misfits, frat boys threatening basement…
S1E18 Retirement Is a Lie and So Are Cats
Bruno loves dogs. Bruno does not want another dog. In this barkingly honest episode, he unpacks a $3.79 adoption in China, blood on the floor, cat piss on trampolines, and a fantasy about fishing for…
S1E17 Turns Out He Wasn’t Being an A$$h0l3—It Was Just Puberty
In this sharp, honest, and occasionally NSFW-mouthed rant, Bruno reflects on the chaotic beauty of parenting through puberty. From shouting matches about jackets to overthinking mashed peas in the…
S1E16 Weed Moms, Cultural Pressures & Judgy Dads
A minivan, a mom, a dispensary pickup—and a kid in the backseat. Bruno spirals into cultural expectations, Catholic guilt, and the weird stuff old ladies say about babies. It’s sharp, reflective, and…
S1E15 Uncle Lester Ruined Your Daughter
This week on Bruno’s You Don’t Have To, we unpack the wild truth: every parent screws up their kid somehow. From New York Times savings calculators to $60K-a-year keg parties, Bruno wonders why we…
S1E14 When Kids Don’t Get Punched in the Face
Are we raising a generation that can’t take a punch—literally or metaphorically? In this brutally honest four-minute rant, Bruno dives into the parenting paradox: how did our boomer parents mess us…
S1E13 Sex, Love, & Rainbow Sprinkles
Ever had the talk in a Dodge Caravan on the Jersey Turnpike after a Devils game? No? Well, Bruno did—and now he’s passing the awkward torch to the next generation. In this hilariously honest episode,…
S1E12 Like, Uh… Finding the Path
What do high school English class, Tropic of Cancer, and a sketchy dirt road in the woods have in common? Bruno, apparently.In this episode of Bruno’s You Don’t Have To, we dive into literary trauma,…
S1E11 Rebels, Rules, and the Last Day of School
Bruno reflects on structure, scheduling, and why sometimes rules just suck. From resisting podcast “management” to supporting his daughter’s refusal to stand in a silent line on the last day of…
S1E10 Stack Those Pallets, Pop Pop!
A fast-talking, expletive-laced journey through nostalgia, tech panic, and the accelerating pace of change. Bruno muses on how kids today are different (or not), why our parents bitched about us too,…
Frequently Asked Questions
Bruno's You Don't Have To has published 27 episodes since May 2025, covering topics in Kids & Family, Parenting.
Bruno's You Don't Have To is currently dormant with new episodes weekly. Average episode length is 3m.
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