Just Listen To Me!
Julia Shay
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About This Podcast
Welcome to the place where love stops performing and starts telling the truth.
I’m a couples counsellor who works with the real moments of relationships — the disconnection, the misunderstandings, and the deep longing to feel safe and chosen. Using an emotionally focused couples therapy lens, I break down attachment patterns, communication breakdowns, and the cycles that keep couples stuck.
This podcast is for people who care deeply and want to understand what’s actually happening beneath the arguments, silence, or distance — without quick fixes or clichés.
Whether you’re healing your relationship, reconnecting, or breaking generational patterns around love and attachment, this is a space to slow down and grow.
Alongside relationship and attachment education, the podcast also explores narcissistic and coercive relational dynamics, emotional safety, emotionally unsafe systems, and the difference between genuine therapeutic support and dependency or emotional manipulation.
While Just Listen to Me was created to support individuals and couples navigating relationship pain and attachment wounds, many therapists, counsellors, and helping professionals also listen as part of their own attachment-based learning and reflective practice.
You’re welcome here. Let’s build relationships that feel safe, real, and alive.
The stories and relationship dynamics shared in this podcast are always de-identified and adapted to protect privacy and confidentiality. Many examples are composites based on common patterns seen across therapeutic work.
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Recent Episodes
S2E12 Why Trauma Bonds Happen: Attachment, Trauma & The Nervous System
Trauma bonds are often misunderstood as weakness, dependency, or an inability to “just leave.”But many trauma bonds are rooted much deeper than the relationship itself.In this episode of Just Listen…
S2E11 Trauma Bonds: When Love and Fear Become Entangled
Why do some relationships feel impossible to leave… even when they are hurting us?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, we explore trauma bonds through the lens of attachment theory, nervous system…
S2E10 Not All Therapists Are Safe
Therapy can be one of the most vulnerable spaces a person ever enters.Which is why discernment matters.In this episode of Just Listen to Me, Julia explores an uncomfortable but important truth:not…
S2E9 When ADHD Affects Love: Understanding the Imbalance
What if the problem in your relationship… isn’t a lack of love—but something you’ve never been taught to recognise?Why does love start to feel… uneven?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, Julia…
S2E8 How to Choose a Couples Counsellor (And What Most People Miss)
Most couples choose a counsellor based on availability—but that decision can quietly shape the outcome of their entire relationship.Choosing a couples counsellor is one of the most important…
S2E7 When He Chases: The Hidden Pain of Male Pursuers
We’ve been told a story about relationships.That women pursue… and men withdraw.That she reaches… and he shuts down.But what happens when that’s not true?What happens when the man is the one chasing…
S2E6 When Women Withdraw: The Pattern Nobody Talks About
We’ve been told a story about relationships…That women pursue.And men withdraw.But what happens when that’s not true?In this episode, we’re exploring a side of the pursuer–withdrawer dynamic that…
S2E5 You’re Not Too Much: The Truth About Pursuers in Relationships
Have you ever felt like you’re too much in your relationship?Like no matter how hard you try to connect… it still doesn’t feel like enough?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, we gently explore one…
S2E4 Why They Pull Away (It’s Not What You Think)
Have you ever found yourself asking…“Why does my partner pull away when I need them the most?”It can feel confusing.It can feel painful.And at times… it can feel like they just don’t care.But what if…
The Pattern You Keep Repeating? It's Trying to Heal You
What if the pain you keep experiencing in your relationship…isn’t just a sign that something is wrong?What if it’s pointing you toward something that’s ready to heal?In this episode of Just Listen to…
S2E2 The Relationship Pattern You Can't Escape
Have you ever felt like you keep ending up in the same relationship patterns… no matter who you’re with?In this special throwback episode, I’m sharing a powerful conversation from the Fit For Joy…
S2E1 The Pattern Making You Both Feel Alone in Your Relationship
Why do some couples feel like they're constantly misreading each other in conflict?One partner shuts down.The other pushes harder.And both end up feeling alone.In this episode, we're unpacking a…
S1E9 Your Family System Is Sabotaging Your Relationships - Here's Why
In this episode of Just Listen to Me, we continue the conversation on family of origin wounds, exploring the deeper and more complex impact of childhood trauma, abuse, and neglect on adult intimate…
S1E8 Time Doesn't Heal This Relationship Injury
Why do some relationship wounds seem to last for years — even decades?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, relationship therapist Julia Shay explores Attachment Injury Repair, a core process used in…
S1E7 Sexual Rejection Has Nothing to Do With Attraction
Sex is one of the most misunderstood parts of intimate relationships.When couples start struggling sexually, many assume something is fundamentally wrong with them or their partner. But in most…
S1E6 Trauma or Abuse? Why the Difference Saves Your Relationship
Not all painful relationships are abusive.But some are.In Part 3 of my Attachment Wounds series, we’re talking about abusive relationship dynamics — including the critical differences between toxic…
S1E5 The Family Pattern Destroying Your Relationships
Why do certain arguments in relationships feel bigger than the moment?Why do small triggers activate deep fear, anger, or withdrawal?In this episode of Just Listen to Me, couples counsellor Julia…
S1E4 Hypervigilance After Infidelity | The Nervous System Trap You're Stuck In
Some attachment wounds don’t just hurt.They fracture the bond.In Part 2 of this series, I go deeper into the more traumatic attachment injuries that couples can experience — including infidelity and…
S1E3 Attachment Wounds: The Pattern Underneath Your Pain
Some relationship pain isn’t about poor communication.It’s about rupture.In this episode, we’re talking about attachment wounds — what they are, how they happen, and why they shake the foundation of…
S1E2 The Real Enemy Isn't Your Partner — It's This Pattern
Why does “Why won’t you just listen to me?” collide so painfully with “I just need some space”?In this episode, we slow down one of the most common — and most misunderstood — relationship patterns:…
Frequently Asked Questions
Just Listen To Me! has published 21 episodes since February 2026, covering topics in Health & Fitness, Mental Health.
Just Listen To Me! is currently highly active with new episodes every few days. Average episode length is 12m.
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