Love and Abuse

Leaving an abusive person isn't easy and sometimes isn't over

The trauma bond keeps you lovesick and broken

A trauma bond is like being addicted to both the highs and lows, just waiting for your next fix. It's not impossible to break a trauma bond, but it can be hard as hell.

Can you still like someone who hurt you but not love them?

Can the victim of emotional abuse accept the former abuser as a friend after a lot of time has passed? I received this question from someone who used to be emotionally abusive, feels awful about it,…

Are your children being manipulated, too?

You're watching your child mirror a narcissistic parent and it feels like you're losing ground. Arguing with the lies they're being told feels pointless, but asking the right questions might just be…

If you don't draw the line on how much is too much, you won't have a line

How much mistreatment is too much? When your boundaries are violated over and over again, there will be a point where you have none and the sky will be the limit on someone else's hurtful and…

How does an abusive person become an abusive person?

There's got to be a reason someone becomes abusive, right? All abusers abused as children... is that it? Maybe it's a mental health issue. Maybe it's none, some, or all of the above. Or maybe it's…

Getting conned into taking an unhealed abuser back

They've changed! They've really seemed to change. They seem like a new person so you take them back. Then you find out they were just playing the long game. Emotionally abusive people can heal if…

Do mutually abusive relationships have a chance?

Sometimes both people in the relationship are hurtful, controlling and manipulative. When that's the case, it's going to take more than one person stopping the behaviors, and that presents a few…

The superiority complex of misogynists

A unique episode about the superiority complex that drives mysogny in abusive relationships, why abusive people target those they perceive as weaker, and how their insecurity fuels the need to…

When you won't see an emotionally abusive person change

You can't fix what's unwilling to be fixed. And when someone would rather you and the relationship suffer and crumble than work on improving themselves, you might have only one choice left.

Did you sign up for a life of indentured servitude?

If you feel trapped in a maze of emotional manipulation, hoping for a change that never comes, you might realize you've signed up for something you didn't expect and certainly don't want. There's a…

They say they love you but they hurt you anyway

Some people seem to care but then do awful things. When they do, it's hard not to question if they love you at all.

I feel like a bad person for being abusive back

Sometimes emotionally abusive people heal and change. Sometimes they just... change. Either way, when the victim of their behavior gets a "break", they might discover a lot of buried emotions that…

The healed emotional abuser is more than just a behavioral change

I've seen emotionally abusive people heal and become completely different people. You wouldn't even recognize them! And when you no longer recognize the person who's hurt you over and over again,…

Do we talk about divorce during the argument or the calm period

When you've decided to leave the emotionally abusive relationship, when is the best time to bring it up? During the storm or the calm?

Do I accept that this is how theyll be forever

Some behaviors are unacceptable. Some people are unacceptable. Just what should you accept and what should you do when you can't? Emotional abuse has a tendency to make you feel completely powerless,…

When its impossible to get away from all the toxic behavior

Some relationships end but continue leaving destruction in their wake. Some don't end and you suffer through the daily drip-feeding of emotionally abusive behaviors until you lose your sanity. When…

Dont call them what they really are, it will work against you

Calling a duck a duck makes sense. But this logic works against you in the emotionally abusive relationship. Calling out an abusive person for who they are might just turn the whole thing around on…

Total defeat and burnout in the emotionally abusive relationship

Every relationship should have stopping points when you feel yourself slipping away. Emotional abuse operates as a slow drip-feeding of toxic behaviors that gradually erode boundaries.

When you are a captive audience to the emotionally abusive monologuer

The endless monologue of some emotionally abusive people is a tactic that keeps you silent and submissive. It's designed to wear you down until you finally give in.