It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle
Nikki P
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About This Podcast
If you feel a shift happening but can't name what it is — this podcast is for you.
A podcast about anxiety, life transitions, and living in the messy middle.
Maybe nothing major happened, but you don't recognize yourself anymore. Or maybe you're navigating divorce, a diagnosis, faith transition, or identity shift. Either way, every hard human experience has something in common: you lose who you were before you know who you're becoming. That gap? That's the messy middle. The messy middle is a transition. The feeling that lives inside it? That's anxiety.
I'm Nikki P., a former therapist who built this show because I needed it myself — and realized other people did too. Every week, I have honest conversations with people living in the gap — holding joy and grief, gratefulness and struggle, certainty and uncertainty — all at the same time, without pretending any of it isn't real.
No toxic positivity. No fix-it mentalities. Just real language for the feelings you couldn't name, and permission to be exactly where you are. This is for people in the messy middle who need real talk, not empty platitudes.
Life isn't either/or. It's both. And you're allowed to hold all of it.
New episodes weekly. Find me @itsbothpodcast.
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Recent Episodes
REPLAY: The Episode That Started It All — Body Image
The messy middle looks different for everyone. Sometimes it's a major life transition. Sometimes it's the quiet, daily tension of living in a body you haven't fully made peace with yet. One year ago…
She Lost Her Husband and Had to Rebuild Everything
The messy middle doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes it arrives at 40 years old with three kids, a career you left behind, and a life you have to rebuild from the ground up — while you're still…
I Look Like a Man They Told Me to Hate
The messy middle doesn't always look like one hard thing. Sometimes it looks like being biracial, bisexual, a therapist, a storyteller, a single dad, and a first-time memoirist — all at the same…
What If You Never Get Married? — And That's Okay
The messy middle isn't always about a crisis you can name. Sometimes it's the slow realization that the timeline you had in your head — married by 30, partnered by 35 — just isn't happening. And…
Why Men Are Lonelier Than Ever (And What Actually Helps)
The messy middle of being surrounded by people and still feeling completely alone. Jason Lange is a men's embodiment coach who helps men reconnect to their hearts, their bodies, and to each other.…
When the Life You Worked For Isn't the Life You Want
The messy middle of getting everything you thought you wanted — and still feeling empty. Cassidy Gard spent years at Good Morning America producing breaking news stories that shaped the national…
The Room Where You Stop Managing Yourself
Have you ever needed to talk to someone, but you didn't want their advice? You didn't want them to fix you or solve your problem or tell you what to do. You just needed someone to hear you. Not…
My Brain Says It's Right, My Body Doesn't Believe It
The messy middle of making a decision your brain knows is right, but your body doesn't believe yet. I'm moving my family across the country. Logically, I know it's the right choice. But my body? My…
Three Years in the Maybe: Foster Adoption Anxiety
Living in the messy middle for three years. Lane Igoudin and his husband Jonathan raised two babies — a newborn and a one-year-old — while not knowing if the court would let them keep them. They were…
The Faith-Based Parenting Advice That Delivered Trauma
What happens when the parenting advice that promised godly outcomes delivered trauma instead? When you did everything "right" and your family still fell apart? Marissa Franks Burt is the author of…
I Yelled at My Daughter and Watched Her Break
What happens when the version of strength you've been taught stops working — and being a "strong man" makes you a terrible father? Olaolu Ogunyemi is a leadership speaker, author, and U.S. Marine…
The Mental Load: Co-Founder or Just a Passenger?
Zach Watson thought he was a good partner. Then he asked if the blueberry muffins were too hot — 90 seconds after watching his wife pull them from the oven. That's when he realized: he wasn't just…
What If the 'Difficult' Kid Isn't the Problem?
What if the "difficult" kid isn't the problem — it's that we're responding to their energy instead of the actual situation? Dr. Bethany Bildeau (Dr. B) went from hiding in school bathrooms with panic…
When Starting Over Isn't a Choice — It's What's Left
What does it feel like when starting over isn't a choice — it's just what's left? The anxiety of rebuilding your identity after years of making yourself smaller is real. And the overthinking that…
Navigating Anxiety: Safe AND Uncomfortable at Once
Feeling hijacked by anxiety and overthinking every decision — like you're constantly "neck up" in your head, unable to just be? Joanna Hardis is a therapist and author who went from white-knuckling…
Overthinking the Question I Was Afraid to Ask
What if the moment that saved you started as a question you were afraid to ask? Ten years ago, I wrote in a question about love, boundaries, and faith to a podcast called Ask Science Mike... and Rob…
When Your Faith Shifts and You Believe Differently Now
What if the anxiety of a faith shift isn't a sign something's wrong — it's a sign you're finally being honest? Nashville minister David Moses Perez moved from either/or religion to spacious both/and…
Faith in Transition: What If Hell Isn't What You Thought?
Brian Recker, author of Hell Bent, spent years in fear-based faith. Then he had to start over. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes in belief — what happens…
When Purity Culture Taught You to Fear Your Own Body
Linda Kay Klein, author of Pure, grew up in purity culture. It took years to unlearn the shame. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes after religious trauma.…
Rob Bell: What If You Already Know the Answer? Pt 2
What if the anxiety and overthinking aren't because you don't know what to do — but because you're afraid of what you already know? In Part 2 of my conversation with Rob Bell, we talk about the…
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It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle has published 56 episodes since April 2025, covering topics in Education, Health & Fitness.
It’s Both — Living in the Messy Middle is currently highly active with new episodes weekly. Average episode length is 56m.
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