Episodes 26
Avg. Duration 36m
Activity Dormant
Since Jan 2025
Latest Episode Jul 2025

Publishing Details

Schedule
Weekly
Format
Episodic
Consistency
95%
Hosting
vanityproject.blubrry.net

Contact & Outreach

About This Podcast

Join elderly lifestyle unfluencers Ross and Helen on the regular as an alternative to cutting and other popular acts of violent self-harm. Listen as these sexy seniors take you on a journey of self-discovery: chiefly, that you could be doing worse. Learn from the pair that late midlife doesn’t have to be a time for ambition and self-development because now, there’s Ozempic™.

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Recent Episodes

Episode 26: Things of a Fleshly Nature That You Might Not Otherwise See; or, The Best Debut on Broadway Since Streisand

Jul 20, 2025 34m Transcript

The contradictions inherent in the movement of capitalist society impress themselves upon the practical bourgeois most strikingly in the changes of the periodic cycle, through which modern industry…

Episode 25: Thus Spaced Zarathustra; or, Artichoke on That!

Jul 13, 2025

Kids today are doing it wrong, or not enough, or something When you say that we should bump uglies, could you be more specific? Home Affairs set to crack down on MyColes Marriages If you gaze for…

Episode 24: Neither Twelve nor Seventy-Five; or, Quote Investigator, Listener Novemberr, Ayn

Jul 06, 2025 26m Transcript

This week, join Beautiful Fairy Princess and Captain Handsome as they effortlessly relate to the non-Facebook demographic by establishing a terrible nickname for the show that a mirtazapine…

Episode 23: A Preventive Humanitarian Intervention Into the Responsibility to Euphemise (R2E) Doctrine; or, There’s a Reason Why They Poison Philosophers

Jun 29, 2025 32m

An episode description in which I once again take some of my discarded episode titles and list them as bullet points in lieu of writing a proper thingy: Dream snorkel, come rescue me Nopin’ talkin’…

Episode 22: Single’s Toddler Cancer Nightmare; or, A Trent in the Henhouse

Jun 22, 2025

Self-explanatory, as always: I’m bad with names but I could identify that service set anywhere Hitch: the elite private schooldog born with a silver bone in his mouth The nose Mohs Calling the…

Episode 21: The Good, The Bad, and the Foley; or, A Rough Diamond Jubilee

Jun 15, 2025 1h 12m

In honour of Dr Gary Foley’s recent 75th birthday, Beautiful Fairy Princess continues with her dastardly plan to publish his complete biography in podcast form before Tony Birch has the chance to…

Episode 20: Conspicuous Theft Auto; or, Personal Space Invaders

Jun 02, 2025 44m

See, kids? I know video games. Oh, and it’s a true crime podcast now, so that’s all the listener demographics covered. Also: Ross Thee Stallion Achtung! Unverhohlener Volkswagen-Diebe! But first,…

Episode 19: Not Another Gore PowerPoint; or, The Revolution Will Not Be Caffeinated

May 25, 2025 50m

Lured by the undeniable architectural triumph that is the newly unveiled Feminist Wing at Floate Library—it didn’t take very long, either—our prodigal heroes return to say things directly at each…

Episode 18: Insert Title Here; or, File Not Found

May 18, 2025 0m

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Episode 17: SWOT! In the Name of Love; or, There’s No More Bread Being Made

May 12, 2025 32m Transcript

They call him Captain Handsome but his name was Elisa Day. Nicknames, huh. Where do they come from? Beautiful Fairy Princess seems to think that the answer is ChatDSV, which I understand to be both a…

Episode 16: Pane di Covid; or, What to Expect When You’re Unhinging

May 04, 2025 37m Transcript

With the reciprocal intervention orders from The Tiff still in effect, they’ve gone remote again this week. The sound is always shitty over Riverside—as I believe Captain Handsome’s favourite band…

Episode 15: Helen–Gary Helen–Ross; or, Subtext Is for Closers

Apr 27, 2025 48m

This week, Beautiful Fairy Princess and Captain Handsome—back together after what Page Six has labelled The Tiff—are joined by a mystery guest! Who could it be? Is there perhaps an unnecessarily…

Episode 14: Glory Hatch; or, The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a 99.4-odd Batting Average

Apr 13, 2025 40m

Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don’t forget your vegan sandals ’cause it’s hot out there today! It’s hot out there every day; what is this, the Jagajaga Federal Electorate? Not hardly, but it is…

Episode 13: Consumer Affairs’ Most Wanted; or, Apnoeite for Reconstruction

Apr 06, 2025 39m

No man is an island, even Captain Handsome, who recently returned from an island and would now very much like to be one but has instead settled for erecting a set of boundaries around himself as…

Episode 12: You’ve Gotta Be Judicious With Lube; or, Kill the John Butler in Your Head With the Knife He Forged

Mar 30, 2025 39m

Finally back in Captain Handsome’s home office/studio/Idi Amin shrine after two weeks spent hitting, smashing, beckoning, summoning, upsizing, vaccinating, and otherwising, our intrepid hosts are…

Episode 11: A Very Special Episode; or, Please Send Help

Mar 23, 2025 9m

All work and no play makes Bitsy a dull boy All work and no play makes Bitsy a dull boy All work and no play mmakes Bitsy a dull boy All work and no PLay ma es Bitsy a dull boy All work and no play…

Episode 10: Travis of Nazareth; or, Manifest Density

Mar 16, 2025 38m

This week, our heroes are fearlessly testing the limits of remote recording technology. As will be apparent, Beautiful Fairy Princess has opted to record in an abandoned grain silo, whereas Captain…

Episode 9: Role Models Inc.; or, A Gentleman Doesn’t Sing and Tell

Mar 10, 2025 25m

1.    EXT/INT.   LENIN SHIPYARD.   BLOOD RED SKY   WE OPEN on a woman, HELEN (36), beautiful, fairylike yet somehow regal, speaking into a microphone.   HELEN This episode is all about…

Episode 8: Lolito; or, Private Eyes are Apple Watching You

Mar 02, 2025 38m

Meatloaf assures us that 2 out of 3 ain’t bad, but can he be trusted? Neither Uber nor those responsible for the Net Promoter Score seem to think so, with the former suggesting that anything under…

Episode 7: Kentucky Fried Chatham House Rule; or, To All the Things We’ve Loathed Before

Feb 23, 2025 28m Transcript

Hopped up on Quartiers d’Orange and sundry other entremets from the local footy, Beautiful Fairy Princess seeks routine from a smartwatch in the lead-up to the Masters Games. Will she, like Captain…

Frequently Asked Questions

How many episodes does Vanity Project have?

Vanity Project has published 26 episodes since January 2025, covering topics in Alternative Health, Education.

Is Vanity Project still active?

Vanity Project is currently dormant with new episodes weekly. Average episode length is 36m.

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