Waking Up to Narcissism
Tony Overbay LMFT
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Regularly hosts outside guests
20 of recent episodes transcribed
160 episodes — long track record
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Recent Episodes
S1E6 Murder on the Couch: When "I Did It For You" Is a Lie
A heads-up before you press play: this is a bonus crossover from my true crime podcast, Murder on the Couch, dropping into your Virtual Couch / Waking Up to Narcissism feed. It's heavier than usual…
S1E158 When Forgiveness Is for Them, and Acceptance Is for You — Why You Can't Let Go
You can't forgive a narcissistic or emotionally immature partner—and you think that makes you a bad person. It doesn't. For anyone who's been on the receiving end of years of criticism, betrayal,…
S1E157 "Okay, You Win" Means They're Just Getting Started: A Narcissistic Letter, Decoded
After almost 30 years, she finally told her narcissistic husband she wanted out. His response was a multi-page letter that sounds like love and lands like a trap. If you've ever received "the…
S1E156 Death By 1,000 Cuts Pt. 11: Termites, Not Earthquakes, Destroy the Foundation
You're not surviving an earthquake in your narcissistic relationship. You're surviving termites—slow, structural damage no one else can see...until it's too late! In this 11th installment of Death…
S1E155 They Know What They're Doing—They Just Don't Think It's Wrong (My Big Reveal)
"He wasn't evil." Those three words from actor Christoph Waltz, from an interview on how he prepared himself to play one of the most brutal, cruel characters to grace a movie screen, explain exactly…
S1E154 They Didn't "Technically" Lie - How a Kernel of Truth is Weaponized
Ever lost an argument you know you should have won — but couldn't explain why? That's not a coincidence. It's a strategy called "The Pop." Tony Overbay, LMFT, introduces a powerful new framework…
S1E153 You're Not Bad. You're Carrying the Problem: Shame, Triggers, and Healing
"I was triggered" vs. "I chose"—what if both are true, and neither gets to the real problem? When a listener sent Tony a viral video challenging people to replace "I was triggered" with "I chose,"…
S1E152 Your Memory Has Been Turned Against You: Lying, Gaslighting, and Confabulation (Oh My!)
Your memory has been turned—and the double agent is inside your own mind. After years in a relationship with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic, the damage isn't just that they rewrite…
S1E151 Validation, Co-regulation, and Emotional Immaturity (with a Hint of Spirituality) w/Angela De Hoyos, ALC
What happens when your greatest strengths—your empathy, your willingness to self-reflect, your sensitivity—become the very tools someone uses to convince you everything is your fault? In this…
S1E150 Flying Monkeys, Switzerland Friends & Narcissists, Oh My! Understanding Secondary Betrayal
Why do the people you thought knew you best stay silent—or worse, side with the person who hurt you? This secondary betrayal often cuts deeper than the narcissistic behavior itself. Switzerland…
S1E149 Narcissistic Off Switch: When Naming It Makes It Worse
Can you "turn off" a narcissist with one calm sentence? Tony unpacks the viral "narcissistic off switch" concept and discovers why tactics alone won't save you—but they might be exactly where real…
S1E148 The Family Butterfly Effect: How Your Uncle Ray Changed Everything—And How You Can Change It Back
What do you do when someone in your family needs drama to feel alive? In this crossover episode, Tony dives deep into the anatomy of emotional immaturity through the story of "Uncle Ray"—a family…
S1E147 Narcissistic Collapse: Why Their Breakdown Is Actually Your Breakthrough
Is there such a thing as a "narcissistic collapse" — or is it just another trend designed to keep you scrolling at 2 AM looking for answers to why your relationship is the number one source of your…
S1E146 Death by 1,000 Cuts X: The Ten Emotional Commandments (You’re Most Likely Still Breaking)
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with emotional immaturity or narcissistic behavior, you know the truth: Healing doesn’t come with a map. Emotional safety doesn’t come with instructions. And…
S1E145 "I Never Said That!" - When Your Memory Becomes the Enemy
Have you ever remembered something so vividly that it feels etched into your bones — only to have someone look at you blankly and say, “That never happened”? Have you ever started to wonder if maybe…
S1E144 Stop Trying to Explain Yourself to the Narcissist: Why Explanations Make Things Worse
Do you ever feel like no matter how much you explain yourself, your words just get turned against you? In this episode of Waking Up to Narcissism, Tony Overbay, LMFT, breaks down why explanations…
S1E143 On the Other Side of the Couch: What I Learned Losing My Mom
What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares his raw,…
S1E142 Would You Rather Be Liked—or True to Yourself? The High Cost of Integrity in Marriage, Parenting, Faith, and Work
Would you rather be liked—or be true to yourself? It sounds simple, but what happens when staying true to your values could cost you your job, your marriage, your faith community, or your…
S1E141 Blinded by Belief: How Your Brain Defends Its Favorite Story - Even When It's Wrong!
Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind—and watched them dig in even deeper? Or wondered why, even when you want to change your own beliefs, it feels like pushing against an invisible force? In…
S1E140 The Emotional Immaturity Epidemic with Steph and Craig: Why Adults Are Stuck in Childhood Patterns
What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it? In this compelling guest appearance on The Steph and Craig Show, Tony dives deep into what he calls "the…
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